I have a case to present to the good Christian people of this world. A case for love, modesty, the theology of whole personhood and positive self image. A case against the harmful Christian literature that surreptitiously speaks out against these things.
Exhibit A: Joshua Harris’ recently recanted (yet still relevant), misguided book I Kissed Dating Goodbye. (Can I get an “Amen” in the house of God??? I mean come on people. It’s about damn time he apologized for writing that thing.)
Exhibit B: another great Christian literary disaster, Dressing with Dignity by Colleen Hammond.
And lastly, just to make sure everyone is thoroughly confused and intrigued (and therefore keeps reading this blog post), for Exhibit C I'm going to reference the deplorable Mental Health of the generation that was raised on these two books, as well as briefly allude to their relationship/dating crisis. I'm included in that generation. Stick around to see how all three of these fun facts factor into my bad attitude and what I personally believe is the greatest resurgence of Gnosticism since the second century.
To make sure we are all on the same page, I am going to start with a definition of Gnosticism, how Gnosticism came to be a thing and why it is still a thing after being condemned by our holy Mother Church centuries ago.
According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 285, Gnosticism is defined as believing “...the world (at least the physical world) is evil, the product of the fall, and is to be rejected or left behind”. This is an extremely simple definition of an intensely complex and varied heresy. Many incorrect teachings fall under the blanket term of Gnosticism. I’ll move on to the purpose of this blog post, on the modern resurgence of what is possibly the oldest heresy to threaten Christianity.
Let us begin with an idea. It's not an original idea, mind you. It’s been toyed with since the beginning of the Church (before the Christian church, actually) and is rooted in the essential premise for the heresy of Gnosticism; the idea that our human bodies are sinful, evil in fact. I’m going to take this a step further and say this particular modern brand of Gnosticism specifically targets human sexuality. My generation has been taught for years that any aspect of our sexuality - from our desires to our actual, physical bodies - is sinful. I would like to note that I am speaking to all human sexuality, both the rightly-ordered (heterosexuality) and disordered (homosexuality) kind.) We are not merely our sexuality but our sexuality is a definite part of who we are and should never be discounted or discarded, especially not in the name of religion.
“For our God hath blessed creation, Calling it good.” (G.K.Chesterton, Ballad of the White Horse) He made the Grand Canyon and the Northern Lights, the plants and the animals and then said “I know what’s missing” and then made you, you beautiful person reading this post. You including your hair/eye/skin color, personality, sexuality, body type, sense of humor, ect…. He made every aspect of you intentionally and called you good. I love you. God loves you. Read on.
Gnosticism preys upon the part of our nature that knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are not worthy of the love and mercy we receive daily at the hands of Jesus Christ. That is how it has lasted this long. Don’t get me wrong, self knowledge is a beautiful thing, but so is self worth and Gnosticism is deadly to both of them.
Joshua Harris told us all in his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, released in 1997, how to get the perfect relationship and consequently, the perfect Christian marriage. All we had to do was not spend any significant amounts of time with each other or ever touch each other and our dreams would be realized. Many of us bought that lie; there are dozens of broken marriages and countless broken hearts to attest to that. How did such well intentioned, good sounding advice go wrong? I Kissed Dating Goodbye had just enough truth mixed into it to appear harmless, but it was Gnosticism disguised as relationship advice; it taught us that our physical bodies and desires, therefore our sexual identities, were evil and not to be tolerated, spoken of or thought about and certainly not acted upon at any costs. While I am certainly not suggesting promiscuity, I wonder how he came to the conclusion this would translate into anything positive in married life. How anyone is supposed to reconcile physicality of any kind, even with their spouse, after living their entire life believing in the evils of their sexual identity (and all it entails) is a mystery to me. I simply do not believe it is possible. I offer you the many failed relationships, broken marriages and deplorable mental health of the generation that was taught abject denial of intrinsic parts of their being was the only way into heaven as proof of how damaging it is to attempt “divide and conquer” as a route towards sanctity, as opposed to the healthier, more fruitful theology of whole personhood.
This perverted, incorrect idea of how our sexuality affects our sanctity was further supported with the release of Dressing with Dignity by Colleen Hammond in 2004. Here we have another book filled with seemingly helpful advice. Claiming to give guidelines for modesty in a modern world, what Colleen really does between the covers of this books is take a hard swing at whole personhood. She too promotes Gnosticism, telling young christian women everywhere that they must “divide and conquer” and separate the sinful part of themselves from the good part of themselves; that our bodies are evil and our souls are good and therefore we must rid ourselves of the first in order to glorify the second.
Yikes.
These two great “Christian” works have led to a discombobulated train wreck amongst Christian millennials everywhere, in every walk of life. Thus we arrive at my final point. After being taught for years that our bodies are evil, is it any wonder that self worth/self image/self love among Christians has plunged to an all time low, while mental illnesses and eating disorders have soared to an alarming height?? Is it any wonder hordes of us are single and many of us have never even been in a relationship? That many of us are on medication or regularly seeing a therapist?* “I’ve never had a boyfriend/girlfriend” has become as common a phrase as “I struggle with anxiety/depression/anorexia/bulimia/ect.” We’ve been so busy trying not to be who we were created to be, we have forgotten how to love ourselves; since love of others and love of God hinges upon self love, we find ourselves in the sad state of not only being incapable of loving ourselves but also incapable of receiving love (from fellow men or from God) and, by default, incapable of loving others to the self-sacrificial degree required in relationships/marriage. It is a sad state of affairs when things deteriorate to the point that leaving Christianity (or what is taught as Christianity) behind is the only way to break the chains of self loathing and become whole, happy people.
I have a question to pose here. If we completely rid ourselves of our sexual identities in a mad grasp for sanctity and are successful, who, then are we? Certainly not ourselves. If we cease to be who God created us as/to be, are we really on the path to holiness? Are we still capable of fulfilling our purpose in life? Or, in chasing Christian ideals of perfection, have we permanently lost an intrinsic, valuable part of ourselves?
And for everyone who would say that I am coming down too hard on the authors of these two books and that they “had the best intentions”, I am going to quote St. Bernard of Clairvaux; “Hell is full of good wishes and desires.” (You might know this quote in it’s more modern form, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”.) Their intentions may have been good and honorable but the exorbitant amount of damage caused to the millennial Christian psyche due to their work is proof that intentions are not enough. I fully intend to be a saint but that intention alone will not gain my entry to heaven.
This post started as a post on modesty and somehow turned into a post speaking out against Gnosticism parading as Christian teaching on modesty, chastity and sexuality...I am not exactly sure how that happened but I trust the Holy Ghost enough to let His words be. If this rubs you wrong, feel free to tell me, but if this hits home in an uncomfortable way, please know you are not alone. Many of us got duped and it’s going to be a long road to recovery. My prayers are with you as we move forward out of heresy-riddled darkness into the healing truthfulness of Christ’s light together.
Pax vobis, amicis.
*there is nothing wrong with therapy or medication to treat mental illnesses or eating disorders or anything else people use medication and therapy for. I am merely pointing out one of the reasons I think there are high numbers of people using these resources.
